Hahaha. Sometimes I crack myself up. As I was titling my blog (sometimes it's better to title after the blog is written, but not tonight) and I came up with the one above, I laughed and thought how accidentally clever I can be. I wanted to write to tell you about my day at the ranch and so "Hit the Hay" seemed to fit - even though I didn't mean it to work out like that. Anyway...
Today I started my day out the best way I know how - with Belle. GREAT morning ride. I was the only one around and it was beautiful beautiful beautiful! I rode for a little over an hour and then as I was finishing my time at the ranch, the owner asked me for a little help. She and the vet were collecting semen from one of the stallions and she needed me to lead a mare around to sort of taunt the stallion with all her beauty. Seriously. It was the craziest thing and I was amazed by the whole process. There is this stallion at the ranch named Ben - he is absolutely GORGEOUS! Big huge horse with a long long mane and tail and his presence is very powerful. He is kind of closed off from people and other horses because he is the epitome of a stallion - very dangerous when he gets all worked up and just not all that pleasant. His paddock is completely out of site from the rest of us because he gets SO worked up SO easily and throws such fits. He's always yelling and kicking and biting anything he can. So imagine my surprise when Nicole asks me to go out to the pasture and lead in a mare "in season" - that's just like being in heat. I was a little nervous, needless to say. So I retrieve the mare and lead her into the barn that Ben is in and IMMEDIATELY Ben (now there is a HUGE steal door with slits in it (kind of like prison, only the bottom half is solid and the top half has the bars with spaces - narrow spaces) goes nuts. He starts striking with his front feet and making these very high pitches squeals. Nicole and the vet are right outside his door and Nicole peeks in and says: "He's all the way out!" So the vet and Nicole squeeze in the tiny opening they make with his big steel door and Nicole puts this big chained halter on him and the vet quickly puts this HUGE leather glove type thing over his HUGE penis! Ben is so worked up and distracted by this mare that he doesn't even care what else is going on around him. I'm just outside the door walking the mare back and forth so that her backside is rubbing on his door - Ben is FLIPPING out. It sounds like the big steel door is going to totally come down. Within 30 seconds...SEMEN! More semen than one could ever imagine! I was in absolute SHOCK! Seriously! It was the craziest thing I've witnessed in nature - is that nature? I guess not. It was all very bizarre. So just like that, the vet and Nicole came out of the stall and Nicole will mail off Ben's semen and get LOTS of money for it. Lucky for the mare that she didn't have to actually deal with Ben - he is a BEAST!!!! But a beautiful beast at that.
And the song of the day goes to: Shania Twain. A very thoughful friend of mine made me a mix tape! Ok, it was really a mixed CD, but it just doesn't sound the same as a mix tape. I'm sure it's mixED tape anyway, but no one ever says that. It's kind of like everyone I know saying Reesies Peicies. Um, no. It's Riece's Pieces - as in pieces of Reice's, but no one knows that. Anyway, it's a great CD for me right now. Lots of GREAT songs about breaking up, being single, loving it and hating it. It covers all the bases, that's for sure. Anyway, there's a song by Shania Twain that talks about her boyfriend who is SO bad for her and his response to his bad habits is: "I ain't no quitter." Very fun song. So here it is, folks:
he drinks-he smokes
he'll cuss-he swears-he tells bad jokes
yeah,he ropes-he rides
he lives life fast, and he loves to fight
he's a boozer-a loser
he calls me up when he's had too much
a scheemer-a dreamer
(bridge:)
when i tell him to change his ways
he just turns to me and says
'i aint no quitter'
(chorus:)
no, i aint givin up on him just yet
cause im as stubborn as a girl can get
he wont quit-but you can bet
im stickin to it
i-aint-i aint no quitter
he chews-he spits
he flirts too much,and he loves blonde chicks
he struts-he strolls
he looks so cool, and yeah, he knows
he's a beautie - cutie
his body rocks, and the girls they flock
he's afflicted-addicted
(bridge)
no,i aint givin up on him just yet
cause im as stubborn as a girl can get
no, i aint givin up on him just yet
cause im as stubborn as a girl can get
he wont quit-but you can bet
im stickin to it
i-aint-i aint no quitter
i-aint-i aint no quitter
oh baby, i-aint-i aint no quitter
yeah I ain't no quitter yeah yeah yeah I ain't noooooo quitta
By the way, I would NEVER tell Adam about this song. I can hear it now - that'll be his new favorite phrase or comeback.
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